How To Be Seen As A Trustworthy Expert


If you’ve been online or more so in the business world for more than a hot minute you’ve probably heard the saying people need to “know, like, and trust you” before they want to do business with you. And I agree with that. I personally cannot remember ever buying from someone (especially if it was a larger investment) who I didn’t at least somewhat knew, liked, and trusted.

One of the most often asked questions I get from people following me on social media or listening to this podcast is how do I get people to listen to me. How do I have my message heard? How do I have my voice stand out as a trustworthy guide in a noisy world? Meaning how can I be taken seriously. How can I have people view me as an expert or authority in my niche?

In today’s episode that’s what I want us to take a look at. 

What are the three questions people are asking about you before they decide whether they want to learn from you or work with you?

The good news is that these questions in a way have almost nothing to do with you. They are mostly focused on your audience.

Before we dive into the three questions I want to make sure you know about a new resource I created just for you. 

The One Page Pitch PDF.

Question #1: Do I matter to you? Do you see me?

I want you to think about the best experiences you’ve had with people. Really pause for a moment, and try to remember a couple of those experiences. What do they all have in common? I bet that the people involved genuinely cared about you. It had to do with how they made you feel. It was probably an experience that made you feel good. Maybe it made you feel like you were truly seen, heard or cared for.

Mutual concern creates connection. When people feel like they are being cared about creates connection. If you can learn to care about others, you can learn to connect with them. When you can connect with them you can start to help them. You can make both their lives and yours better. It doesn’t really matter what profession you are in. Now, I want to pause here for a second and point out that I’m talking about genuine care. Not flattery or fake compliments in hopes that they will work with you if you just make it look like you care. We as humans are smart and we pick on on those things. There’s a quote, and I’ll probably butcher it but it goes something like this. “You cannot genuinely make a person feel important if you secretly think they are a nobody.“ How true. And believe me when I tell you that people pick up the scent of fake from a mile away.

As I’m speaking you might be thinking, well I get it Csilla. I have to learn to genuinely care for people in order to have true influence with the. I want to do that. But how? What if I never met the person in real life? What if I have thousands of followers and it feels like it’s too difficult to try to care about every single one of them. First, one of the good news is that you actually are capable of broadening your ability to care about others beyond your personal social circle. Believe it or not it’s a learnable ability. Something that just like a muscle becomes stronger over time and with practice.

The second thing that I’d encourage you to do is to always remind yourself that behind every name, handle and computer screen is an actual person who represents hopes, dreams, failures and fears. To me any time I remind myself of that it helps me really humanize that individual. And when I relate that to my own hopes, dreams, fears and failures I now have something tangible to go on.

Most of us as humans have a great desire to connect with others, but we also have difficulty connecting. Because more often than not we are preoccupied with our own worries and needs. As Calving Miller says, when most people listen to others speak, they are silently thinking, 

“I am loneliness waiting for a friend.

I am weeping in want of laughter.

I am a sigh in search of consolation.

I am a wound in search for healing.

If you want to unlock my attention, you have but to convince me you want to be my friend.”

I love how the singer Pavarotti put it, “some singers want the audience to love them. I on the other hand love the audience.” What a great way to relate to people and really make a connection. As a speaker and performing artist that is my goal every time I get to step on a stage.


Question #2: Can you help me? Can you solve my problem?

There’s an old saying that says: nobody wants to be sold to but everyone wants to be helped.

I remember a couple of years ago when I had a bit of aha moment around this idea. I was listening to a training where the speaker shared that the “secret” to their success in business really boiled down to asking a simple question when approaching a potential customer. “Can I help you?” People don’t pay for programs or coaching, they pay for results. When we are able to clearly communicate the results we can help our audience achieve we are onto something good.

In his book Presenting to Win, Jerry Weissman says that when people communicate, they focus too much on the features of their product or service instead of answering the question, “Can you help me?” The key, say Weissman, is to focus on the benefits. Focus on the results and outcomes people are wanting not the features.

We live in an age where people are overwhelmed by information. Information is a good thing but it can also be an extremely paralyzing thing. Too much information to sift through makes us slower and makes us freeze. Just like a computer freezes when too much information is bogging it down. The same thing happens to us. If you keep throwing a bunch of information at your audience they are going to tune you out. Ask yourself the question, how can I give the least amount of information and steps to my audience and still help them get amazing results? If you want to get someone’s attention and really set yourself up as the expert in their eyes, show them how you can help.


Question #3: Can I trust you?

Have you ever felt the hesitation to step onto a car sale lot? Maybe you needed to buy a car but really didn't want to be chased down by the salesman? If you did you are not alone. For many people, the experience of interacting with a car salesman leaves them feeling skeptical and suspicious. Unfortunately because of this, the whole industry gets a bad rep. Trust is absolutely vital to any business. In fact, trust is one of the foundations of great relationships. I once read in a book that trust is even more important than love. And if you think about it, it makes total sense. 

Now, I’m not knocking the car sales industry. In fact, the last couple of times my husband and I had to purchase a car we had wonderful experiences both times, thank you Carmax. The point that I’m trying to make here is that before people feel comfortable doing business with you they need to know that they can trust you. That you have their best interest at heart. So the question is, when you show up on stage, on social media or interact with someone one on one are you communicating trust.

At this point you might be thinking, I get it, I need to be able to make people feel that they can trust me. How do I communicate or get that across?

Well, I’m glad you asked :) 

First focus on listening more than speaking. Know what they really value by becoming a great active listener.

Find out why those things are so important to them by asking questions that help you better understand them.

Share your own values that are similar to theirs. And shows a common ground.

Always come back to showing them how much you appreciate them as individuals.

The bottom line is to keep the following key questions in mind. Before people want to follow you or do business with you they need to know that.

Do I matter to you? Do you see me?

Can you help me?

Can I trust you? 

Now, I’d love to hear from you. Out of the three questions I just shared with you, which one resonates with you and also is there any other questions you’d add to the list. The way you can let me know is by connecting with me on my Instagram page @csillamuscan where every Thursday we have a deeper conversation around this week’s podcast episode. If you are not on facebook I’d love for you to send me an email at [email protected]. I personally read all the messages and try to respond within 24-48 hours.

Friend, I want to thank you for spending your last 20-30 minutes listening. I know your time is valuable and it means so much to me. I hope you walk away feeling it was more than worth your time.

Don’t forget to grab the One Page Pitch Pdf at

Friend, I want to encourage you to keep showing up. Keep shining bright. Your voice and message are needed. And please know, I’m here, in your corner, cheering you on.

Don’t forget to come back next week. I have a very special guest who is going to teach you some amazing things about how to start or run a successful podcast. You don’t want to miss this.

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